Redefining Excellence: Beyond 'No Pain, No Gain'

Once an unwavering follower of the "No Pain, No Gain" philosophy, I've journeyed from self-inflicted hardship to a deeper understanding of personal growth. This shift wasn't easy, especially given a childhood overshadowed by a controlling mother and an older stepbrother. My response, a vow made at 12 to be harder on myself than anyone else could ever be, led to a pattern of self-harm – both physically and emotionally. It took decades to realize the true cost of this mindset.

The Flawed Philosophy:

The mantra 'No Pain, No Gain' is a deeply ingrained belief in many cultures, often used to justify harsh self-treatment in pursuit of goals. However, this approach has significant drawbacks, as eloquently discussed in Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book, “The Body Keeps Score.” The science is clear: negative self-talk and self-imposed suffering can cause long-term harm, manifesting in both physical and psychological ways.

• Reexamining the Human Body:

  • The human body is a marvel of potential, designed for movement and play. This inherent desire to explore and engage with the world is evident from early childhood. However, societal norms often stifle this natural inclination, leading to a loss of that innate genius and physicality. The NASA study on child geniuses reflects this decline: from 98% of children exhibiting genius-level creativity at age 4-5, to only 2% of adults retaining this status. [1]

  • The key to tapping into our body's potential lies in nurturing our natural curiosity and desire for play, rather than suppressing it in favor of conformity and rigid structures.

• The Psychology of Self-Talk:

  • Negative self-talk can lead to a range of adverse effects, including depression, anxiety, and a lack of enthusiasm for life. This self-deprecation, often mistaken for a form of discipline, can actually impede motivation and personal growth. [2]

  • By shifting from a punitive mindset to one of motivation and self-compassion, we can rediscover the joy in our activities and pursuits. This change in perspective is essential for both mental and physical well-being.

• The NASA Study and Lost Potential:

  • The decline in creativity and divergent thinking as documented in the NASA study raises questions about the factors contributing to this loss. Education systems and societal norms often prioritize conformity over creativity, leading to a stifling of individual potential.

  • Reconnecting with our innate curiosity and imagination is crucial for personal fulfillment and societal advancement.

• Conformity vs. Individuality:

  • Societal pressures often dictate a narrow path, leaving little room for individual expression and creativity. However, embracing our unique qualities and fostering an environment that celebrates differences can lead to a more dynamic and innovative society.

  • Encouraging creativity and problem-solving from a young age not only benefits individuals but also contributes to a richer, more diverse community.

In summary, the "No Pain, No Gain" mentality, though deeply rooted in many cultures, is a flawed approach that can lead to long-term harm. By redefining our understanding of success and fulfillment, we can embrace our potential, nurture our creativity, and challenge societal norms. It's time to ask ourselves: What does true excellence look like, and how can we achieve it in a way that honors our wellbeing and individuality?

And one last thought, note in the graph below of the NASA study: 

I don’t have data showing how many people continue with sports and play on a consistent basis, but judging from my experience, I imagine its shape would be similar to the above. And if it is, is there a relationship to physical play and mental acuity? If you’ve read the NASA article, it suggests that our current school curriculum is not serving our children well. Is it also harming their spirit of play.  

[1] https://medium.com/@connect_75384/the-end-of-education-94f3a39fe97c

[2] https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-deprecation-5186918